Can I Tell You A Secret?

Hello loves! Happy Friday -- and it's Good Friday! It has been a good couple days! Lots of good workouts at the box & time with friends. So, Tuesday and Wednesday I did not eat much.  This is my blog so I want to be 100% honest.  I am very worried about gaining weight while I'm injured. Like freaking out worried.  Lets back up....I have a very unhealthy relationship with food.  If you don't know, I use to weigh over 200 pounds.  I went through a period of time where I ate, not necessarily a lot, but shit.  All shit.  Plus I drank a lot. I was injured and packed on weight.  A lot of weight.  Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a thicker girl.  Always have been and probably always will be. I'd love to weight 155-165 pounds. That is my goal range. I'm about 175 I think right now. I've lost over 50#s.  It's been a LONG road and I wouldn't change a thing, except for my ability to say NO to bad choices. Milkshakes and peanut butter by the spoonfuls and so on. I really need to force myself to be better.  I really would like to do a GOOD Whole30 again.  Kristen at Change of Pace is doing one starting April 1st.  I'm not sure I could since I'll be living at my brother and SIL's the next week. I'm thinking when I get back it's on. I have to see if Jilly, of Paleo Pantz, is game to help me though because she is my cook for the next couple weeks. I dunno.  I eat pretty good Paleo now, but not good enough.  I may try and start on Monday if my SIL will take me to the market :) Need to focus on the pyramid -- CLEAN EATING IS THE BIGGEST KEY!!!
 So - back to Tuesday and Wednesday - Tuesday all I had was two small pieces of chicken and half cup sweet potatoes and Wednesday I had a green apple and cheese.  Now this was NOT because of my issues - but more the lack of wanting to do anything. I was exhausted.  Jilly came over Wednesday night to check on me.  She cooked eggs and bacon for us to eat -- I ended up eating 6 eggs so I'm pretty sure I made up for not eating the other two days.  Yesterday was my last day of school before Spring Break.  We had a half day and Jilly took me to school, therefore I ate breakfast - eggs and bacon -- and then I went to AC's after school.  She dyed my hair (I'll get a pic up ASAP) - we are trying to get it lighter and back to my normal color. Then Tara from Fit Beginnings and Split Ends took me to the box. I worked on bench & thanks to her - she pushed me to a 95# PR for a set of 6! I think did some strict press at 75# for 3 sets of 5. Metcon of hammer curls/dips/triceps extensions (behind the head...can't think of real name). Plus came home and did some tabata sit-ups & knee push-ups. I love that there is still so much I can do, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I can WAIT to full on CrossFit, lift and run again!! haha I've had a lot of people tell me they can't believe I'm back to school and/or working out already and/or how positive I am -- here's my thing -- I only had 2.5 days to get through of school then 10days off because of Spring Break so IMO there was NO reason to miss. I love my job and my kiddos - I needed to be there. In regards to working out - yes, I went the day after I broke my ankle and I've been 5 times in the week since. No, I don't think that's dumb.  Working out makes me feel better and helps keep me in check.  If you don't want to do it, DON'T - or if you don't want to hear about me doing it, don't read/follow/etc. I LOVE my box, my coaches and my friends from there -- I don't plan on slowing down because I broke my ankle. And lastly - about being positive -- what am I going to do? Sulk/cry/be miserable.  Yes, I am beyond upset about having to drop out of the Nike Women's Half in DC, the Festivus CrossFit comp in Philly, Tough Mudder in June, and some local 5K/10Ks I've signed up for.  It sucks.  I cried - ask Alycia -- I balled at the hospital. I cried to DA this week - it sucks; however, I can choose to sulk and be upset or look at the things I can do and move on. It is what it is and I can't change it.  So, now we look forward -- change up my goals a little bit - and do what needs to be done to keep moving forward. Rachel told me today I'm like Jillian Michael -- do what you can and push as hard as you can -- that's what I do. When I judge my crew, coach others or push myself.  Do what you CAN DO and push hard.  I have to much going on to be stressed about a broken foot :)
So DA and I have been talking about our visit -- I am going to Cali for 2 days Memorial Weekend -- and I can not WAIT to see him.  It's been about a couple years and I can not WAIT to see him. We are really in different places now and I just want to be onto the next stage with him. One more year hopefully. The state has announced they are taking over our school -- hopefully, I have a job next year but if I don't I'm moving. It will all work out -- it always does! Plus I really really just love that man. He makes me happy :)
Anyways, today is FRIDAY -- 13.4 day - I don't get to go tonight to see most of my crew, but I got to go today to the noon class with Rachel.  I judged her and cheered her, AC, Nilda, Blair, Jenn, Steph and others on. Also, I got pull-ups today with my boot.  We took a Rouge Box and a band -- I needed a little more height so we added a 45 plate too -- and I could get my good foot into the band and and reach the bar. I honestly was SO stoked -- I only did 15 as my arms were killing me from yesterday and crutching all around. I am a happy happy girl though.
I'm heading down to Tennessee tomorrow - I can't wait to be with my family for a week and more importantly spend time with my Princess & Tank -- I love those two!

Hope ya'll had a fabulous Friday!
~xoxo
M