changes are coming :)

Where to start...biggest news of all...I finally kicked him to the curb. After 4 years of nothing good and loads of drama...I blocked DA's number and threw all his stuff away. It was quite possibly one of the best feelings in a LONG time!! I can't take it anymore, and for whatever reason, finally walked away.

Other than that, I am OFFICIALLY a teacher!! Now if I could just find a job. Ready for a city and some changes. Everyone here is starting to settle down, and I need out quick =p haha I have applied all over. Sad that LA was my dream for so long, and now I have no desire to go there.

Still running - and loving it!! LOVE the longer runs a lot more then the shorter runs. I lost my iPod and could kick myself. I'm sure that would make the long runs even better.

Took some fam pics when Jon, Michele & Austin were home...I have to charge my camera then I will load them :)

Ok - Christmas eve is tomorrow and right now I need to go run some errands. Will post a better update soon - so there T you got a little bit :) haha

<3

Thanksgiving Toast

So this was sent to me by a lady that I train with. I think that it speaks volumes about the truth and wonders of life. If you would have asked me if I would be at this place in my life a year ago, I would have laughed. I would have never thought I would get up at 6am on a Saturday I did not have to work to go run 10 miles. I would have never thought that I would be hanging out with fewer people my own age for feeling as though I have nothing to talk about. The main constants in my life have proven to be my family and my true friends. I have lost contact with a lot of people over the past year, but as I get older (ewww almost 26) I stop and realize that its not personal nor is it bad to move on and make new friends. It is life....



A Thanksgiving Toast

2009

Sitting down with friends and family today, there will be thanks for the steady currents, flowing out of the past, that have brought us to this table. There will be thanks for the present union and reunion of us all. And there will be prayerful thanks for the future. But it’s worth raising a glass (or suspending a forkful for those of you who’ve gotten ahead of the toast) to be thankful for the unexpected, for all the ways that life interrupts and renews itself without warning.Skip to next paragraph

What would our lives look like if they held only what we’d planned? Where would our wisdom or patience — or our hope — come from? How could we account for these new faces at the Thanksgiving table or for the faces we’re missing this holiday, missing perhaps now all these years?

It will never cease to surprise how the condition of being human means we cannot foretell with any accuracy what next Thanksgiving will bring. We can hope and imagine, and we can fear. But when next Thanksgiving rolls around, we’ll have to take account again, as we do today, of how the unexpected has shaped our lives. That will mean accounting for how it has enriched us, blessed us, with suffering as much as with joy.

That, perhaps, is what all this plenty is for, as you look down the table, to gather up the past and celebrate the present and open us to the future.

There is the short-term future, when there will be room for seconds. Then there is the longer term, a time for blossoming and ripening, for new friends, new family, new love, new hope. Most of what life contains comes to us unexpectedly after all. It is our job to welcome it and give it meaning. So let us toast what we cannot know and could not have guessed, and to the unexpected ways our lives will merge in Thanksgivings to come.

Pumpkins everywhere

Wow - why does it feel like I blink and my life jumps ahead another month. I always say that I am going to keep up with this, and then I blink and its a month or two later. School is going good. I have switched from 5th grade to 2nd grade. I am not a huge fan, but I knew that I wouldn't be. I love my mentor teacher and my students, but I just like the curriculum better in the upper grades and I feel more confident in teaching it. I am not in school today, I am super sick again. Sinus & ear infection, with the start of an upper respiratory infection. It only seems to happen when my schedule picks up - think I might be stretching myself to thin at times.

Fleet Feet is still great! Love that part of my life and I do miss working there more. We just brought on a new guy, and I think he will be great!! The whole MB thing makes me laugh...I turn bright red. Now its just a joke, but still embarrasing.

Carved pumpkins with Chris & Kellie Shea this week - TOO much fun!! Here are some pictures -

Training for the Disney World half marathon. Running is going good, except for today. Won't be able to run today, but a day off would be good I'm sure for my body. I am very excited for the half marathon - Chris, Ali & I are sharing a room!! Should be a great time! Still need to get our plane tickets. Ok - I'm off to get stuff done!

Fall brings changes

So there has been a lot going on. And for the first time in a long time, I am finally trying to walk away from him. We all know who "him" is and for the first time in a long time - I think it is finally done. Partly due to another interest but mostly due to the fact of telling me that I can not be cute. News flash - I am AMAZING!! And couldn't be happier with my life right now.

School is going great!! Switched to second grade - not the biggest fan, but it has shown me how much I like my older children and working with 4th, 5th & 6th.

Its funny how I always think about blogging to keep people update, but how my life just seems to take off and I can't keep up. Its kind of like I'm constantly treading water, and barley keeping my head up. Though I am ready for changes and can't believe I am 8 months out from completing my masters. That feeling is great and hopefully I will find a job that will open me to new opportunities and chances in my life. Maybe I could even just pick up and head to Europe again for a bit:)

Anyways - that's all for now - big news is finally stepping away from him....feels like I'm finally taking care of me and its about time for that!! :)

Slow it down

I always say I am going to get better...I always say that I will start to post on here about my life to keep friends and family updated, but then I blink and another month or two has gone by. I have started my student teaching. I am in a title 1 school in north knoxville. Anyone from here thinks it is the "bad" part of town, and its not the best, but I LOVE it!! I LOVE Christenberry! I have a wonderful mentor teacher who is already showing me so much about what I do and don't want to be. I have 14 students who challenge, push, love, piss off and change me every day!! It has been an adventure so far. Last week I started teaching math, and this week I am adding on reading. I do not feel at all prepared for this week and at this moment in time, I am not sure how I could prepare anymore for math. Reading is ready for the week, if I can just stay on course.


Come Dec I will hold a TN elementary teaching license, and teh question then becomes...do I want to look in TN for a job or try and FINALLY get out of town again...and again I am stuck. There is so much in Knoxville that I love - Fleet feet and my fleet feet family, training, Audrey & P, my AMAZING and BEST crew - my Minx ladies!!, my parents and some good aquantinces. Sometimes I just feel that my next step is waiting somewhere else.


So on August 8th, I did Springbrook Sprint Triathlon. 200m swim, 9 mile bike & 3 mile run. I wanted to go under 1:15 and I did - I went 1:13 and some change! I was SOOO proud. The following weekend, August 16th (Tank's 5th birthday) I had my FIRST Olympic Distance Triathlon - 1500m swim, 25 mile bike & 6.2 mile run. I went under 4 hours and almost hit my goal of 3:45 ...ended at 3:49 and some change. Was very proud of myself for that.

Now that my big races are done for a while - it comes time to get ready for Disney and my FIRST half marathon.

Also it is time for weight loss, so as of two weeks I have started weight watchers and I am down 5 pounds so far!! VERY exciting and I hope to keep you posted on that.

For now, I am off to shower - 5am comes FAR to early and I need to start at least getting a mile in before school.

meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over

It has been a crazy month! Last post was the 4th of July after Rocky Top and it is now almost the end of the month. I was in thesis hell at the begining of the month and then went to Cape May with the family for a beach vaca! It was def a need week, but after a straight week with my family, I need a break haha. I think sometimes Dad forgets that as much as I know he does for me, I have done a lot for myself and sometimes just need him to get that.

Anyways - above are some photos from Jers. Other then that, July was a good month. Finished my thesis, got an A - made for 2 A's and a B this semester. Been really getting into my bike - go figure. Looking forward to Fall Creek Falls. Really nervous about the run - how sad is that? The original thing that got me started and it's the thing I fear the most. Going to take the bike to the shop today for a clean & tune up :) VERY excited for that!

Duane will be here in Oct and I am SUPER pumped already!! Been so long since I've seen him, can't wait to just have someone just get me and understand everything. All my friends are worried that I still want to be with him, but its not like that. I am just over being single. After a year of this (well in 3 days it will be a year) I am not a fan...and I just havn't had anyone catch my eye that made sense. Grouch is beyond an annoyance to me. Love him to pieces as a friend and wish the situation never got to where it is, but it is here and I hate it. Maybe one day, we will be friends, but I don't see that happening.

Fleet Feet is GREAT! Still absolutly LOVE my job!! I can not believe I start student teaching in 13 days. Isn't that crazy?? This time next year I will have my MASTERS!!!!!

Today starts the food log day - BLAH. I hate trying to keep up with it, but got to figure out what this whole weight not moving issue is. Heart rate training & a food log - yea, my life is amazing:) haha Had dinner with Lisa last night, not sure why we don't do that more! I absolutly LOVE our dinner dates!! Hoping to start helping out at the barn some - could use some horse time!

Anyways - off to make JMumps cakes for tonight and get some stuff done!! Dark hair comes today - whoop whoop! Enjoy the day loves!

Longest Bike EVER - Rocky Top 100 07.04.09

On Saturday, Leah & her neighbor Christi (now my new biking friend) did the 32 miler for the Rocky Top 100. Had some MAJOR hills and steady climbs, but we all completed it and had some AMAZING beer after :)

ATL...80s style

So ATL was 2 weekends ago and it was a GREAT time!! Red Sox swept the series - but ATL played well. Ready for another weekend already...check out my shutterfly for more pics! These are just a few highlights, because as always, I am only on here today to try and avoid finishing my thesis.

BASEBALL TIME

So - I'm heading to ATL today - first time there - crazy 'eh?? Anyways - Ciara and I have not started our baseball weekend tradition! This will be our second annual time. Pretty much - its an excuse for us to go watch baseball and see each other since our normal lives tend to block us from that.

School is still kicking my butt. My proposal is not finished, but is started and I am feeling more confident about it now then before. I have 8 sources but need about 14 more :( I am ready to be out of school and in a classroom.

So this week, I got called out on a lot of stuff. I was told that I have become a very negative person. That I did not use to be this way and that maybe that is why I was so unhappy. And the person to call me on this - really would know. So I got to thinking that maybe he was right. I use to think the WORLD of Knoxville. And that my life was amazing. I had lost that. I had lost the joy that I had in my own control and life. Least to say - today (and everyday) I am working on seeing the positive in my life. There is so much out there to do and see. So many people to meet. And if you pick a certain group to judge or walk away from - you are only limiting yourself.

Here's to being positive :)

Once so hard to speak now so easy to play around

For the first time in a very long time, actually since Eric, I feel completely out of control on a situation with a boy. Now first are foremost let me say that I don't think that anything will come from this boy, but there is SOMETHING that I just want to know. Something in me says that I need to get to know him more, that there is something in his life that I can learn from. I've been thinking, a LOT lately, which is a bad thing if you know me. I over think and ponder everything.

All I know is I don't know anything it it kills me....

On the other half of my life :) - School is insane right now. I feel as though I can't keep my head above water. I refuse to sink, if you know me at all failing is NOT an option!

Ok so my Ashely Warren just called and its been FOREVER!!! Night loves!

So it's been a crazy week!! Lots of training, working but not enough homework. Once I finish this, that is the goal for the day! A GREAT work out & knocking out at least 8 pages of my research proposal. I'm on here first because I just read a great blog by my friend Carissa. First, let me say that her strength in Christ is AMAZING to me!! She is so connected, and that is what I am looking for. Her confidence is outstanding too! She is possibly one of the most BEAUTIFUL women you will ever meet, inside and out.

This week she had a quote up on facebook --

"A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”

I have heard that quote, but had forgotten about it. And I think that I couldn't have come across it at a better time then this week on Carissa's page. I need to fix my relationship with Christ so that my only focus on a guy is my love, relationship and connection with him.

That's really all I had to state this morning!! I'm starting to learn more and more about all this blog business! Like the labels and such. Enjoy the day loves!

Be Still

What a past few weeks it has been!! I am getting to a point that I feel so lost in my own life I am not sure where to go next. The other day someone told me that I was selffish for saying that I did not want to stay in Knoxville. I love Knoxville and the good friends I have here, but I don't see myself staying here forever. Being 25 and single as the rest of your friends are starting to settle down is hard. I know that I am young and I still have "plenty of time" but who doesn't want someone to come home to every day? Someone to share everything with ya know??

Anyways - signed up to do TRI 201 with Shahin. It will prepare me for my first OLYMPIC distance Triathlon. Crazy 'eh? Who would have thought a year ago that this is were my life would be? Certanly not I and the more I talk to Duane about it, apprently not him either haha. He is doing well. He is still loving Cali. Hanging with kim again and maybe getting a promotion!! I will be thrilled for him, but every one in a while would be good to see him and def talk to him more.

We leave for Jersey in a month. I made a bet with myself - NO DRINKING till Jersey :) Need to stay focused on training and getting into better shape. I need to also focus on school more, I'm already behind the curve and its only the 3rd week :( And most important of all, I need to get focused on CHRIST again. I need to find the faith I once had. I need not worry about any other person.


Be Still, And Know that I am GOD - PSALM 46:10

What IF?

So - on Saturday I turned 25. Isn't that crazy? Was a great weekend - minus the MAJOR hangover Sunday and deciding that even thought I don't really drink much anymore, I'll try and drink about 10 shots of vodka and who knows how many beers. Smart for sure. And to top it off - that was at the wedding - Jon & Lisa's wedding. So I hear the bride was on the ground with me feeding her drunk friend aka ME - bread. Sorry Lisa. thankfully John Holt came and picked me up and took me to my folks - where my dad put me to bed with a bucket! Happy Birthday to me! =p

ha ha Sunday was a BBQ by my folks for me - would have been a lot better not so hungover, but you can only do what you can do. School is out - well kind of. I have one more class, but not for 2 more weeks. Very stupid in my opinion to wait for 3 weeks to have the final class when all we will be doing is taking out notebooks in, but that is what it is. I could be in Vegas with Pop & Mom for Mom's bday, but instead I'll be in class - I know you're jealous.

First triathlon of the season - Trideltathon - was on the 19th. Did really well. Finished in 1hr 21mins 23 secs. A lot better then I thought I'd do and I made it up the hill. Invested in a road bike, but haven't had the chance to ride it much yet. Got really sick - bronchitis - the Monday after the tri, then the birthday and no just trying to get caught up on life.

Went to lunch with Eric yesterday - always interesting. We got to talking about how I just really am not where I want to be at this point in my life. Kinda funny to think that at 18 - I thought I knew everything, I was going to marry Eric after college and we were going to be happy forever. HA then life became reality and I realized that at 18 I was completely clueless and had no idea what life had in store. People are always amazed when they learn everything I have been blessed with having the opportunity to do, but there is SO much more I want. I still want to get to Africa, Australia, South America. I want to speak fluent Spanish and German or Italian. I want to move to the west coast for a couple years. I want to bike from the west coast to the east coast. And that is just the tip - there is so much more I want to do, yet here I am just turned 25 and the scariest thing to me is that I am single.

I know being single isn't bad. And I get it that I am young, but that doesn't take away from the part that I want someone to share everything with. And I want someone to go on those adventures I have left with. I want to meet someone who has the same drive, focus and adventure that I do. I don't want to be tied down by a job or by making money. Life is far to short. I want to spread my wings and make a difference. I want to know that I have done everything God wanted me to do. I never want to look back and wonder.....WHAT IF??

Mini homework break :)

So - there has been loads going on. I am trying to find the motivation to do some homework, however it has not happened yet. I am really struggling right now with my fitness and am trying to figure out a plan to step it up. BIG time step up too!! I need to get more consistent in my running, lifting, swimming, biking, etc. I wonder why I don't see results and I think it is because I am not consistent enough.

BESIDES that :) Went to the shooting range with Eric today and had a BLAST. It was kinda scary hearing all those pops and stuff, but I had a great time and can't wait until we can go again.

Filed my taxes today. Need to get my FASFA done as well as like 10 school projects haha. So I don't have much for today but just needed a mini break!

Hope its been a good day!

Fresh Eyes

So as much as I look up to Sam - I'm gonna try her approach. My life has been a crazy ride and I have been lacking on my blogging, but I'm gonna use this to keep you updated on where I am and where I am going.

Its almost TRI season :) I am very excited about that!! The first tri of the season is the 19th!! Kinda nervous since I have been having shin splint issues!!

Doing the DisneyWorld Half Marathon next January - very excited b/c I got Ali to sign up too!!! And thinking about doing the half in Virginia Beach in september too, but we will see over the next month or so if I can get my training up!

Other then that, pushing school back to finish up next May that way I don't have to stress through the summer and fall. And most schools are on hiring freezes anyways, plus that gives me lots of time to interview and figure out if I want to head west or north.

Still at Fleet Feet and LOVING it!! Working at Tennessee School for the Deaf at least twice a week depending on work. My kids are amazing and I am so blessed!

Do you ever wonder?

So - wow a lot happened this weekend that really got me thinking. Do we ever really know all the people that we think we know? I have a lot of "friends" but only a select few really know me and my life. But do you ever wonder if you know - I'm talking truly know your friends. Its scary to me to think that you could have all your heart and soul into trusting someone to have it all shattered in the blink of an eye. I have lost a lot of friends recently - lost in a sense of lost touch - lost faith - depending on the person. Fam - he's been super busy - been MIA in almost all parts of my life - actually in all parts of my life - the only reason I have seen him any time recently was because I talked to Tony and went to see him andthey happen to life together.

Was riding in the car with mom the other day - talking about where my life is and where I thought I'd be - when I was 18 I thought by 24 (almost 25) that I'd be married to Eric - teaching full time and just happy. Here I am, a little more then two months shy of my 25th birthday and I'm single, working full time at a daycare, part time a Fleet Feet Sports (which I love and has changed my life for the better) and grad school full time. And yet, as so not where I thought I'd be, I'm glad I'm not married and my life has fallen the way it has. I've been so blessed to have the opportunites that I have had. Europe is still my favorite and will always have me heart. I am, however, ready to settle down and find the one I can give my heart to, to teach full time and focus more on my running.

Fleet Feet Sports has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Justin told me to go there to get shoes - it wasn't until the August after he passed that I finally went and could you belive that Sweet Melissa was playing. I signed up for their No Boundries program - ran my first 5K - now I am working there part time and will be running my first 10K this Saturday. Its been an amazing road, and I am looking forward to more challanges!!

Thats all for today - xx

My life

So I am going to LA in March, and I am so excited!! There has been a lot going on with school and work. SOO much going on with my head. So confused - thought I was content with being single, and I am BUT I can not WAIT to find someone and be settled down. Just ready to have someone with me to share all my thoughts and ideas with. Crazy I know, but just seeing all my friends starting to settle down and get married gets a girl thinking I suppose :)

Work is good - ready to not work in childcare anymore. Ready to teach!! Fleet Feet Sports is great! I love it!! I never knew there was so much to learn about tennis shoes, but it is fun. Ran 4 miles last night in BITTER cold. It took me about 3 hours to finally get warmed up. But today my legs are tight and kinda nervous about the race on the 14th. Going to do the Disney half marathon. Was thinking about doing the marathon, but not sure I will be up to it by then.

School is good - kinda get frustrated some times with how close minded some of the people in my program are. LOTS of work, and I just can't seem to get back into, but I better make myself so i can get done and get out:) Should get the results of my last PRAXIS exam this weekend - and lets cross our fingers that I passed.

Don't think there is much else right now - keep ya posted on things :)

So where to start - I have been back to school for 3 weeks and I am already SOO behind its kinda crazy. Trying to get my life together and focused. There is a lot on my plate this semester - working FT at WCA, PT at Fleet Feet Sports, tutoring at TSD two mornings a week, training for my 10K (race is Feb 14th) then a tri workshop after the 10K stops. I'm CRAZY busy, but if you know me, you know that I am LOVING it :)

I have set a very high goal for myself - running the Disney marathon next Jan. Crazy huh? Never thought I'd pick that for a goal for myself, but right now it seems like a GREAT choice!!

Had dinner with Sam on friday and it was great! Got to catch up and for the first time in a long time, feel like someone really understanded everything I was thinking/feeling about Duane. Saw the Deaner, Mumps & JP too!! It feels like it has been far to long since I had a night like friday!! LOVED it!!

Anyways - just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head - back to trying to knock things off my list!!

My life

2009 - WOW. This year has been off to a great start, and I am SO thankful. I have stepped back a lot already this year and have looked at things, and it is only the 18th. School is back up and already in FULL swing. Its the second week and I am already behind. Not really happy with how last semester ended, but that is still pending my fight about how I think its crap :)

Lets see - I am up to 4.5 miles - ready to hit that 5 miles this week!! 4 weeks until my 10K!!! And I am starting to get worried. Hopefully I will be able to do the whole thing, and I am on track to do it!! It will be amazing when I actually complete it. There is a meeting at Fleet Feet this week about the Disney marathon/half marathon next year, so that is the NEW GOAL!!!!!

I am working at Fleet Feet now - just about 10-15 hours a week! Its been a great experiecne so far, and I really am enjoying who I am working with. Theres a person there from back in the day who has really caught me off guard and for some reason has really gotten me thinking about things.

D is loving Cali still - going out in March for a couple days and I can not WAIT!! Just miss having that connection and friendship. I know it is not right for us to stay together, but he will always be one of my biggest fans and one of my best friends.

Tony & Fam are great! I think - haha. Both are super busy with work and life and I really miss them and their friendships.

Well that is all for now!! xx